You came home last night, your alibi was airtight, you looked at me
I wondered where we failed as I smelled the betrayal when you kissed me
You said I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, so just let me say
This is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt you
I let the silence linger, you got annoyed
I said I beg to differ, you’ve already got yourself a new toy
Your heart won’t break, but mine’s had all it can take

This is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt you

And get ready for the sound that your heart will make
When it finally realizes its mistake
You’ve gone on with your life
With someone other than your wife
Who will someday say to you

This is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt you

I'm ready to tell you now my heartache is almost gone
The absence of you is clear, though it's only a physical one
You lay on top of me observing my fragile mind
You did not rend my soul all at once, you took your time.

I saw visions of you in my dreams
Faceless and gaunt you were searching for me
But I hid in the shadows of winter's moonbeams

I'm ready to tell you now, I'm ready to let you go
You and the memories, the laughter, and the sorrow
It's too hard to hold this pain and I'm too tired to mother these fears
It tastes even bitter still, and time wastes into years

I saw visions of you in my dreams
Faceless and gaunt you were reaching for me
But I hid in the shadows of winter's moonbeams

You slashed me to the bone by words not your own
I never thought you'd treat me that way
The boundaries you crossed had doors made for you
You knew all the flaws, the structure's weaker walls
You lit the fuse and then you walked away

Leaving me with visions of you in my dreams
Faceless and gaunt you are laughing at me
But now I need refuge from these moonbeams

So I've got to tell you now
It's time to tell you now
I'm ready to tell you now, my heartache is almost gone
I've hidden for so long there's no place left to run
I'm ready to tell you now time has softened me
I heard its mocking voice
It left me no choice.

Your picture's still in my wallet
Your letter tucked behind
Everyone says I should trash it
Get you out of my mind
But I don't think I can
They don't understand

There were good times and bad times and times in between
These were some of the best times that I've ever seen
There was nothing we couldn't talk about
Except for The One Thing we couldn't work out.

It's true what they say about love
You'll know when it's right
It isn't something you look for
You'll recognize it on sight
You were everything
What cruelty can fate bring

Everything was perfect or at least I thought it so
Love alone is not enough when one thing won't let go

I only want one thing
I know I too often I bitch and I complain
I've been given many gifts in your name
Still I ask for one thing

We're on this Earth for a reason
I thought I’d figured out mine
Would you be that kind of God
To make my purpose and my passion be at odds

Won't you show me the light
Show me the way
She me a path that leads to better days
Don't leaving me hanging for another day
Dear God, this is what I pray

Damn this one-track mind
I'm focused on the one thing I fear I'll never find
I put myself in the firing line
And at the mercy of time

Do I presume to know better than you
Or am I paying my dues
Maybe it's a mystery, I haven't got a clue
Or I don't have the guts to face the truth

I'm praying for your mercy
I'm praying you'll be kind
I'm praying that your will coincides with mine
I'm praying for everyone who's left their souls behind
'Cause they didn't get the one thing
That possessed their hearts and minds

I've been blessed with gifts of the goat
Still I've wasted too much time trying to stay afloat
And I've sailed much too far to abandon this boat
Though I know it's slowly sinking

You're wasting your time
Wasting your life
Waiting for something else to come along
You're looking at what isn't
Instead of what is
Missing the whole point of what life is

You could live another life
But you are too afraid
You take the easy way
But it's not too late
For you to have more
But you've got one foot out the door

You once had a dream
You shattered it apart
Then followed it like pieces of your broken heart
Caught up in distractions
That take you just so far
Then they leave you stranded where you already are

Step back and shut the door
You'll never know what you came here for
And blame your resentment on everything but you
Fight against your own creations
Abort ideas in gestation
Claim you have no inspiration
Over on the other side
Jesus weeps while you decide

You could already have it
Instead of wishing for it
If you'd stop...

Wasting your time
Wasting your life
Waiting for something else to come along
Looking at what isn't
Instead of what is
Missing the whole point of what life is

If the summer were to get here 
I'd leave these four walls
I'd exit the land of the dead
Of light bulbs and remote controls
And blankets that plug in
If the summer were to come

If the summer were to get here
I'd leave these four walls
I'd enter the land of the living
Of greenery and birds 
Singing old familiar songs
If the summer were to come

With a squint in my eye
I'd look into the sun
And see things I haven't in so long
Like white waves dancing on blue water
And how beautiful your eyes shine in the sun

If the summer were to get here
I'd take you in my arms
We'd watch the sun go down
We'd bathe in the brilliance of magenta fires
Then start fires of our own.

Why do you care what I feel
Why do care what I need
Why do you care if I broke up with a lover
Why do you care if it’s so
How does it help you to know
What’s gone on with me one way or another

What you really need is your own philosophy
What you really need is your own identity

Nobody wants to know
That my life is just fine
Nobody wants to hear a song
From a well-adjusted mind
They want to know my sorrow
They want to share my shame
They want to roll around
In my agony and pain

What they really need is some humility
What they really need is to find simplicity

And I hate to disappoint you, but there was complicity
‘Cause I know you came here hoping you’d all leave one-up on me
Still I must admit I have enjoyed your company
‘Cause I really need your belief in me

And you really need my brutal honesty

I know you care what I feel
I know you care what I need
I know you care if I broke up with a lover
I know you care if it’s so
I know it helps you to know
What’s gone on with me one way or another

We all need a little sympathy
We all need a little bit of God’s mercy

I woke up this morning and stumbled through the house
Tripping on the piles of dirty clothes
I lay down on the floor
Been doing this a week or more
How long I don't really know

What am I gonna do with these feelings I have for you
Building up and running through my veins
What am I gonna do with these feelings I have for you
Burning up and driving me insane

The dishes are piled in the sink
And that's okay 'cause I can't even eat
I have lost my appetite
But I would eat if you'd invite me
To your place for dinner every night

You are oblivious
Your brain seems impervious
To my not-so-subtle innuendo
Maybe you're preoccupied
Or are you just a little shy
Or do you really love your girlfriend, oh

My friends have stopped calling
The bills aren't paid
I haven't seen the paper or the news
I can't take much more of this
All I need is just a kiss
And the rest of my life with you

I have so much to say
But I can’t find the words
They don't exist or they don't say enough
To express all my love

If I could show you my heart
Show you more than the chambers and blood
That pump you throughout my veins
Into every single cell

You would see how it aches and it breaks in my chest
From feelings and sounds that remain unexpressed
How I'm bursting at every seam
To explain how this love is filling me

I have so much to say to you

But I don't need to speak
I could tell you with one caress
With my eyes as you enter me
With my sense of urgency

I thought I spoke words of love in the past
Bold and naive in my youthfulness
Believing I'd experienced
What should render someone speechless
I have so much to say to you

I've had many bikes throughout my life
It takes a long time to find the one that's right
You gotta try them all, give them a test ride
I'm gonna love the one who leaves me satisfied

I love your vibrations
When your revolutions reach their height
Don't keep me in suspense
You're reading my signals right

I once had a bike, she was painted bright red
With the slightest touch she'd be burning up tread
But there was another who wouldn't accommodate
She'd choke and cough and then she'd hesitate

The one I got now, her gap is too small
I slip in my feeler gauge whenever she stalls
She starts to spark and I think that's swell
But you get the point so I'm not gonna dwell

There are many women who love to mount and ride
They have different styles of sitting astride
Some like to bend over, some like to lean back
Some are chain driven while some prefer the shaft

Torque me, baby
The timing is right
I'm all charged up
I'm in overdrive

You men might think it's crazy that this topic's in the news
And the taxes that you pay have once more been misused
But you wouldn't think it crazy if you stood in that line
'Cause you can pee in 30 seconds while it takes us 99.

It's just another symptom of the rising gender gap
If you took the time to think you'd understand our handicap
Maybe you could browse inside a woman's clothing store
We no longer wear a bustle but we have to button more

We have to unzip from the back or side
Hike up a dress or skirt
Struggle with our stockings and our girdles and our shirts
We have to squat uncomfortably so we don't touch the pot
And if we have our periods add one more minute to the clock.

You boys have your toilets mounted on the wall in rows
You don't have to close a door or take off all your clothes
Just zipper down your Levi's and reach on inside there
You boys even have accommodating underwear

You want us women all dressed up
You like us looking nice
Well now the time has come my friends for you to pay the price
We just want some extra toilets drawn into the design
'Cause it takes you 30 seconds while it takes us 99.

Is this God's plan
This path in life I follow
Or am I off track
And how am I to know
Do I leave it in His hands
Or is He testing me
Am I supposed to make a change
Force my own destiny

Do I give up my dream
Make a new start
Find a safer road
Leave behind my heart
If I give up my dream
For that secondary trail
And I succeed
I'll still feel like I failed

It used to be so clear
I heard the world calling out my name
Together we would laugh
As we planned my fortune and my fame
Like a woman's gentle touch
Or snow in the winter
Like the Eastern morning Sun
I used to be as sure

But time is now my enemy
I'm lost inside this odyssey
I curse my own reality
And fade into obscurity
The windmills are a fantasy
And God is now grading me

This has got to stop
Bending over backward
Walking through walls of jagged glass in the winter
I remember back when we were warm inside our hearts
Before the splinter

You loved me as is
You said we were meant to be
Now you’ve changed your mind, your heart, your eyes
And you no longer see

CHORUS

This Is Me
This is who I am
This is where I come from
Where I’ve always been

You asked me to change, so I did
I thought it would honor you
I loved you so much
I did everything you asked me to

Still it wasn’t enough
And I think the problem belongs to you
Now I can’t stop
Defending myself to you

BRIDGE

I have this twisted sense of loyalty
I twist into the shape you want me to be
Now I see I twist in the wind of futility

Still living in this rusty town
Still drinking the same beer down
Watching seasons turn around
Where everyone has a dream
But stagnation reigns supreme
You light cigarette and ask me why
And you sigh

Chorus:
You say it would be so nice
to see you laughing
I say it would be so nice to see you smile
Open up these eyes to see
a little bit of hope
I think you’ll agree would be so nice

With faith as small as a seed
I can do any deed
But that’s too much to ask of me
‘Cause I’m just singing songs
Still wondering where I belong
In a dream I heard you cry
You told me to fly

Bridge:
So lay it on the line
Like you do all the time
You’ve got to change my mind
Change my mind…

Rules break every day
Like when it snowed in May
Maybe we will have our day
‘Cause it’s the peak of fall
Not wearing any coat at all
I’m covered by this blue October sky
It makes me wanna try

It’s a Thursday in December and I’m looking for you
But I haven’t even met you, yet I’m hoping to
I wonder if we’ll meet passing on the street
Or while I’m Christmas shopping in the mall
It’s a Thursday in December
And I’m ready for love’s fall

Chorus:
And the green is quickly yielding
To the gently falling white
Yet my icy heart is melting
Thawing from its long frostbite

We would go out to dinner
We could drink a little wine
I’d be thinking that you’re pretty and your laughter divine
I imagine your body tense underneath me
Tasting bittersweet against my tongue
It’s a Thursday in December
I love love when it’s young (to chorus)

Silent night, lonely night
Will you come tonight?

It’s alarming what I’m feeling about someone I don’t know
You’re a memory of the future invented in the snow (to chorus)
The cold winds of winter
Would be far less bitter
No matter how hard they blew
On this Thursday in December
If only I had you.

Let me begin with this disclaimer
I had a fleeting thought, I never wavered
Now I don’t want to cause a panic
‘Cause this is almost an epidemic

So many girls who once had a lot of pride
Are crossing over to the other side
And though I haven’t I know you’ll be annoyed
That for a moment I thought
I wanna kiss that boy

You’ve always known me for who I’ve always been
You’ve always know the circles I traveled in
We kind of have our own religion
I now confess my sin
I wanna kiss that boy

We were talking, I watched his lips moved
They were enticing, but what does that prove?
I’ve lived my whole life without a single boy
I’m as shocked as you that
I wanna kiss that boy

I have a reputation to uphold
Some information is better to withhold
I’d better learn the art of being coy
‘Cause it’s a fact that
I wanna kiss that boy

Don’t misconstrue the message imparted
‘Cause this is how rumors get started
I’m here to tell you I wouldn’t do it
But I can’t deny that

I wanna kiss that boy (4X)

Let me end with this disclaimer
It was a fleeting thought
I never wavered.

If I had the time, I would care, I’d give a damn
If I could take the high road, be the better man
If I could rise above my petty jealousy
It's such a deadly sin this Envy

You went far on mediocrity
Now I ask you, what kind of justice can that be
Maybe it's just that I can't see
What you offer is lacking within me

CHORUS
These are things are I miss
Rooted in my avarice
Blinded by my pride
Faith, hope, charity
Virtues have eluded me
God knows how I've tried
It’s such a deadly sin this Envy

What if I knew how to fly to my destiny
Maybe I wouldn't hate your lovely wings
Maybe I wouldn't wish to see them melting
Into the far hot sun, descending

BRIDGE
Maybe I'd be where I want to be
Maybe I'd be where you are
Maybe I'd wallow in less arrogance
If I thought I still had a chance

I cannot be held responsible
I am not the one responsible
For that fire in your chest
That you won’t extinguish
That is so far repressed
It keeps you

CHORUS:
Spinning around out of control
Spiraling down out of your soul
If I’d been alive I would have bled
‘Cause this was the thing
that killed us dead

I will not be held responsible
When you crash, it’s unavoidable
You don’t want to hear
‘Cause you cower in fear
And you don’t seem to care
That you are

CHORUS

BRIDGE
I watch you hide
While you fester on the inside
Then the ugliness turns outside
And attaches onto me
Still you dance along convincingly
Full steam ahead invincibly
But your borders quake
with a thunder
That’s tearing us asunder
Tearing us asunder

And you are the one responsible
You’ll admit you were responsible
For the cause of this song
And of all that went wrong
I was right all along
That you were

CHORUS

I’m too old to be hanging out in bars
Staring at sweet young things and wishing from afar
But this urge could no longer be ignored
So I stepped out to see what could be explored

Instead I spent some time talking to you
We’ve known each other now about a year or two
Never thought I’d have such momentary bliss
When you grabbed me and sealed me with that awesome kiss

CHORUS:
That tasted like ice cream
And it seemed like High School
And I couldn’t feel anything
Except your lips, your lips
When we kissed
And they tasted like ice cream

I’m not talking about love by the way
Carpe diem was my motto that day
It’s not often a geeky girl like me
Gets attention from the powers that be
I’m not saying we should get together now
That’s the furthest thing from my mind anyhow
But ever since that kiss everything has throbbed
And I wouldn’t mind finishing the job

BRIDGE:
Now this may be the moment that we part
But I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart
I really needed that ego lift
And I consider your kiss a gift

TAG after chorus:
Those wonderful wet lips
Those sweet soft supple lips
Those beautiful sexy lips
Those gentle forceful lips
Those Bonnebell creamsicle lips
They tasted like ice cream

I’ve got nothing to say
I’ve got plenty to lose
I’ll just close my eyes
Hope that I won’t bruise
I don’t want to see you pulling away
I don’t want to believe that I’m being replaced

CHORUS
I have seen this before
I think this is the end
I have always been right
But for once in my life
I wanna be wrong

You have closed your heart
You have closed your mind
Everything that we had
Is no longer mine
I don’t want to see you throw it away
I don’t want to believe that I’m back in this place

BRIDGE:
I believed in a love that took hold of me
Now I have no say in what you choose
And I don’t know why it’s so hard to breathe
So I’ll close my eyes and try not to bruise

I’ve got nothing to say
I’ve got plenty to lose
I won’t open my eyes
What’s the use?

Now I don’t believe in good fortune
And I don’t believe in accidents
And I’ve gone against all of my instincts
In complete disregard of good sense

And I’ve put myself in this position
All at good judgment’s expense
Since I’ve accepted this mission
I cannot claim innocence
I should run

I stand here before you on guard
Yet we’re willing to play this game
These walls that surround me are hard
To get through but you’ll try just the same
I should run

Bridge
You should go your way and I’ll go my way
Say it’s been nice and move along without delay
I struggle in my head, my head argues with my heart every day
I know better, that’s why I can’t stay

(solo)

Now I can’t help but trust my suspicion
You want more than I’m willing to give
But you shouldn’t mistake my submission
As love ‘cause it’s all relative

‘Cause this broken heart that I carry
Will cause you nothing but grief
I’m willing to give you my body
But our moments of joy will be brief

You should run

Morning sunbeam
Blue skies, birds sing
It’s a good time
To get up, do something
Squandered beauty and time wasted
Lying in the comfort of my bed

Chorus:
I slept through the morning
Now I’ve got to hurry
I slept through the morning
I got to get on track
I slept through the morning
And I’m weighted with worry
I slept through the morning
And I cannot get it back

Noontime, right now
Present tensing
Deadlines ticking
My anxiety’s building
Looking forward so resigned
To living backward so I don’t get behind

Evening’s coming
Inevitable ending
I don’t want to leave
So much left undone
Tomorrow I’ll get up early
There’ll be time enough to sleep when I’m done

I am picturing the night we kissed
How the danger zone was barely missed
When I got into your bed
With the wrong head on

And for such a raging moralist
I am quite adept at artifice
Yet I left before we invoked indiscretion
And I had regrets accordingly
But my conscience had a hold of me
And the silence that ensued was necessary

CHORUS:
It’s surprising how it came to this
When we tried so hard to resist
But it seems that fate would have
the final say
How it all unfolded in our arms
To discovering each other’s charms
And I think there couldn’t be
A better way

(Last Time Chorus into Tag:)
And I think there couldn’t be
A better way (to tag)

I’m remembering that holiday
When the Irish march in their parade
St. Patrick intervened unwittingly
I passed the bar and thought what the hell
It’s early still and it’s just as well
Maybe I can find short-term company
There you were with jaw-dropped mouth
Like a north pole that had found it’s south
I relented under your authority

BRIDGE:
Let’s just see where this thing goes
Let’s ride the tide to where it flows
Let’s enjoy it without expectation
Because right now I scare too easily

I am always one to force the point
With what I do and do not want
So I’m grateful for your gentle disposition
‘Cause there’s bitterness inside of me
That I hope you never have to see
I cannot compromise my circumspection

‘Cause I’ll take you up but equally
I can bring you down to hell with me
So I’m asking you to step carefully

TAG:
It’s amazing that it came to this
‘Cause we tried so hard to resist
But I guess that fate will have the final say
And it’s all unfolding in our arms
In discovering each other’s charms
And I know there couldn’t be a better way

I had to go, we had to die
I spend everyday wondering why
Did you resent me so, tear down my soul
Chew me up, spit out the bones

I knew you were done a year ago
I held on hoping you wouldn’t let go
You turned down a darker road
Leaving me nowhere else to go

CHORUS: I think about you everyday
I miss you in the dead of night
Pieces of my heart decay
From the darkness to the light
I know it has to be this way
I know I have to give up this fight
If I’m gonna be alright

I met a woman, she prophesized
I’d be captive to this demise
“Keep your temper, be strong, be wise
Just like Lazarus you’ll rise”

Here’s the thing, you were so beautiful inside
Once so patient, once so kind
I’ll never know though I’ll try
What caused your psychic suicide.

BRIDGE
Goodbye to your sacred beauty
Goodbye to your gentle hand
Your kindness and understanding
Our hope of the Promised Land

Goodbye to the blindness
How did it get this far
Emerging from the darkness
I see who you really are

Goodbye to the self-destruction
Goodbye to the constant lies
Your willing degradation
Your failure to compromise

Goodbye to the vanity
Your new pretentious eyes
Go bow at the altar
Of those you idolize